when life carries on

When you move away from all you know and love, you know that life carries on. Now, when I think of that statement - life carries on - I think of life continuing to move forward, the sun will rise and set, work will be work, taxes will be paid, people will fall in and out of love, gardens will grow, babies will be born, possibly even people will marry... things like that.

What you don't think about is that friends will die. You forget that death is also a part of life. It's what happens when a life has been carried out.

Since moving here a number of people I know, with varying degrees of intimacy, have died. Earlier today I found out about a few more guys I knew when I was young - they were troubled and had short, difficult lives. It was surprising but not shocking - and it made me pause a moment to reflect upon my own mortality. But, in the few hours that have passed my story has changed.

Today, right now, this very minute, I am mourning the loss of another woman, one whom mattered more to me than she knew, Lucy Thomas. She was the mother/mother-in-law/grandmother of our friends - a three generation family living together back home. She was in many ways like another grandmother to Coral. She was kind and funny, thoughtful, strong willed and intelligent - and she cared deeply for those around her. We are lucky to have been included in her love's sphere.

It's a little hard to envision the household without her. My heart and prayers and love are all headed back to her family. I love you all so much, and I miss you, right this moment, more than I ever imagined possible.

hoping third times the charm

Late last night I realized that for the past few weeks, the past few Mondays, I've had early morning doctor appointments - and have been sent home with an ever expanding load of prescriptions and directions to stay home, rest, and not work.

I realized that because I was facing another early morning appointment and not anxious for a repeat - really hoping to be declared "improving" rather than sent back for further medication experimentation - although, based upon the quality of my breathing and the pain in my lungs I was rather doubting it... and even considered rescheduling my appointment in order to get some work in before hearing another directive to stay home.

Well - I was and was not right. I did go to the doctor, I did not get declared healthy, but I did not get another prescription pad of medication.... No, no, instead I was sent to the hospital. She briefly considered a pulmonary specialist, but after listening to me breathe said it was off to the hospital directly.

I followed her directions to the "T" and ended up on the far side of the city, visiting the same foreigners department I had become oh so familiar with this past summer. Fun. However - this time they didn't send me to the Zlin clinin, no - not to pneumonology for me, not to according to my doctor's letter - it was off to infectious diseases.

I'm sure if you're ready this and have seen me in the past few weeks you're thinking.... great Jen, thanks ever so much for infecting me with your infectiousness!

Don't you fret - that's not the case. After 4 rounds of 4 types of antibiotics whatever infection could have possibly been inside of me is now gone. Infectious diseases were lovely - the staff was sweet and friendly and the doctor very kind - but they then sent me down to pneumonology... and there I met the same nurses who helped me last summer - or maybe it would be more accurate to say I met the same nurses who tolerated me last summer, existed in the same room as me with only a mild expression of disdain.

Yay pneumonology! More spirometer stuff (hey, my breathing, while not yet normal, is still greatly improved over when I first went last summer) and x-rays and stuff like that.... fun fun fun. Another prescription, but only one, and no more anti-biotics... what's the point, at this point?

Despite the admonition to go home, stay inside, don't walk around, I did go to work for a bit. Not too much, just long enough to get out what was absolutely necessary for tomorrow. And now I'm home again. And getting ready for bed and some sleep. Right after I make dinner.

I go back on Thursday. Hopefully then things will have calmed down a bit more and the new tests will more accurately reflect my true breathing abilities instead of my the heavy struggling stuff I'm experiencing now.

lost in... was that a translation?

I've been trying to give Becky examples of how sometimes English is incorporated in to an otherwise undecipherable (for those lacking familiarity) language.... some words are "Czechified" with a "u" or an "ova" or some other combination. And you can find some regular English words sometimes in the ads.

I used an example in the metro for a film festival being hosted by a movie theater - Kino Atlas. It said something like Kino Atlas hostu filmovy ameturistke festivalu - OK I just butchered it, but it was from a poor recollection and for illustrative purposes only - it is enough for you to get the idea of what the article was about even though you don't know Czech. So, we talked a bit and she laughed and I pointed out a few more things and the day went on... her last day in town.

A Letna adventure, bocce balls, absynthe, slivovice, beckerovka, and so many beers later I am walking Becky home ( her consumption, most definitely NOT mine!)... and we're headed down the street and pass a few hernas - which are covered in large lettering that read

HERNA - BAR

NON STOP

plus some other stuff I can't remember right now. And Becky turns to me with a little quizzical expression on her face and asks, "So Jen, what does non-stop mean here?"

The answer - NON STOP.

And for some reason we laughed the whole way home.

Post-Easter glow... or shimmer - or is that just sweat?

So, we went to Vienna. I slept on the train, in the hostel, napped a few times each day, and slept on the train back. We did step foot out of the room and had quite a jolly time. However, even with the beautiful places we saw and the abundance of laughter we shared while out and about nothing, and I truly mean nothing will be such a lasting and laughable memory as our roommate.

The three of us girls shared a hostel room meant for four. We though we might be lucky and not have a fourth, but we were wrong. Just as Becky said something about there only being 3 pillows in the room in walks an Australian... guy. He was pretty cool, and along with this other guy we'd met on the metro, we all shared a few drinks (age and health appropriate ones) downstairs and played some foosball and shot pool before the healthy adults went out to a club - the kid and I retired to our room.

Before I go any further I must let you know that the Australian who shall forever be known as Vegemite laughingly, and in passing, mentioned to me that he used to sleepwalk, talk in his sleep, and sometimes get up and do things while he slept. In the past. Right. Wrong.

After safely returning to the hostel intact and unharmed Becky and Vegemite went to sleep - I was still awake as the stupid combination of opiate/amphetamine medication hadn't quite worked its way out of my system. I did manage to doze off however and was truly grateful for the rest... which lasted about an hour and a half.

At that point, Boy Wonder from Down Under fell out of his top bunk. In his sleep. Not being familiar with sleepwalkers, especially ones who claim to no longer sleep walk, I didn't understand the situation... and when he stumbled the few steps and sat down on the foot of my bed, doubled over, in what I perceived to be pain, I had no reason to think that in his mind he had just walked the distance from his bed to his bathroom. No reason at all until there was the sound of liquid steaming on to a hard surface.... actually, even then I didn't quite grasp the situation - I thought he was bleeding for an instant - but only an instant. I tried to reach out, find a light, check what was going on, etc, yet Becky warned me to be careful since he was still asleep - apparently she has a lot more experience with sleepwalkers than I have. We talked at him but he just mumbled at us to shut up, shut up, shut up without ever hearing us...

After he finished tinkling he stood up, stumbled back in to the lockers, knocked the fan across the room, threw open the bedroom door and started pacing the hostel hallway, mumbling to himself, until he finally turned in his tracks and disappeared.

A few moments went by with the three of us in a state of shock. It was all quite a bit surreal. And then we got up, not the youngster, she stayed safely tucked in bed, and surveyed the damage... the edge of my duvet was damp, the Kid's shoes were wet, a strap on our large pack, and a giant puddle of sterilized beer was on the floor. At about this point Vegemite walked back in, climbed back in to his bunk, and was out - again.

This time, since he was no longer walking/talking/peeing we woke him and explained what had happened.... he seemed a little unclear about the extent of it all, however, and buried himself in his pillow, quite clearly expressing he just wanted to die at that exact moment. We found his towel to clean up, I stripped my bedding and switched it out for his dry stuff, and after he promised to buy her new shoes and us all breakfast we all went back to bed.

Well, when we woke up he had to have it all explained to him all over again as he'd jumbled it up in his head and wasn't quite sure it had happened... he was quite rightfully mortified but carried it off like a champ - finished dealing with his mess, and even though he forgot about treating us all to breakfast, we did in fact all eat together - actually he spent the day with us, rested in the later afternoon, and then joined us for a dinner out, too.

Before he left he did give the Kid 50 Euros for new shoes - but being the honest and frugal person she is she gave him 20 Euros back, telling him that since the shops were closed both Sunday and Monday she'd have to buy her shoes in Prague and she could get what she wanted for 30.

We went to some palaces, took lots of goofy pictures, took lots of naps, saw some amazing places, walked over the Danube, and came back home. I'm still sick, still on a ridiculous amounts of stuff, and being treated, again, for pneumonia. I have to wait another week for more breathing tests as the doctor wants a better baseline to work with - right now I'm too asthmatic for anything useful. I'm super glad I went - the air was a bit cleaner and a little easier to breathe in Austria - and the company was excellent. The Kid is a champ and Becky is.... well, Beckomo. Vienna is beautiful.

random sightings

Today I saw a lot of people who'd been punched in the face. I don't know why. I mean I don't know why they'd been punched in the face, I don't know why I saw so many, and I don't know why it was all clustered around today... but I did. I wasn't out much either - pretty much went to the doctor, the lekarna, the market, home and then later on to school for a quick moment in the evening.

Which is when I saw all the riot police out with their horses on Namesti Miru. It was unsettling. I'd already seen so many punched in faces I didn't feel quite comfortable being in the midst of a crown and the horse-backed ANTI-KONFLIKTNI team. Turns out Sparta was playing Slavia and the police were there merely to assure that they wouldn't actually be needed. The funny thing is - just before, during, and after the game - I didn't see anyone else with a punched in face.

opiates and amphetamines - not only are they not good for you, they just plain old don't mix

Well the doctor did warn me that one of my new medications was an opiate and the pharmacist warned me one acted like an amphetamine, and I've taken them all as directed but guess I forgot that there was a point where I take both.

Yes, that point would be bedtime.

It's 4:35 am and I'm still wide awake. I'd really like to go to sleep now. Can't say that I've been bored, but it's a little old. Maybe some cheese would help.

Good thing I was already going to call her in the morning - I'm not doing another night like this one... something's got to change.

Beckomo and my sick lungs

So for months now we've had a trip planned to Vienna with my friend who it traveling from the US for her birthday and Easter. She arrives tomorrow and our train tickets are for Saturday, returning on Monday.

Here's the dilemma - I'm sick. Not fever sick, or caught the flu sick, but sick as in my lungs are sick and I've got something going on coupled with this crazy asthma stuff. I'm tired and working to breathe. Been taking antibiotics and other stuff for a bit and have minimal improvement... just got home from my 2nd doctor appointment this week and may have another tomorrow... definitely one on Tuesday.

Her advice - she'd prefer I stay home and rest - I'd like to rest in my room in Vienna, ideally. She wanted me to get familiar with the emergency number and ambulance services as all private doctors are closed for the holiday and she's concerned that my breathing may get worse, in which case I must take an ambulance to the hospital, per her instruction.

I don't think I'm getting any worse - I know I'm getting somewhat better. The approach here is so different than the US - when I got sick last year I got antibiotics plus the Vicodin cough suppressant, plus some other stuff and was told to rest a few days till my fever went down. Here - antibiotics, steroids for my lungs, decongestant, cough stuff and homeopathic support stuff and at least 10 days at home. Cost wise - these 2 doctors visits plus the different Rxs (I just switched antiobiotics, so 2 full treatments of 2 different kinds, plus all the other stuff) - all the stuff that I've had here - including my extra co-pay for translations services - all of it is less than the cost of the antibiotics in the US, far less than the cost of a single trip to to the doctor.

I just want to feel better and go on my little trip, even if I just sleep it away in the hotel! I have to call her tomorrow and let her know how I'm feeling. BLERGH!