Another respiratory infection - which led to thoughts on my name

I had to go to the doctor today - I could feel it starting last week and hoped that some cold medicine and vitamins would ward it off, but I was wrong. My little cold turned, along with the weather which is now dreary and wet and grey, and once again I have a lung infection, tonsillitis, and am dealing with "seasonal asthma".

When I met the doctor today she addressed me by my full first name - Jennifer.

Only she didn't say Jennifer like you (Americans, I mean) and I would... She called me "Jennnafur"

Which got me thinking, during my brief wait, of all the ways people have twisted and tortured what was the most common female name for years. Here's a little bit for you - some are my phonetic interpretation of their pronunciation and some are what has been written:

Jennnafur

Jiniphur

Jenafur

Jenapher

Jeffer

Jay-a-fur

Yen (these people, more than one, have seen it spelled and then said it aloud)

Yennifer

Jennifree

Jenn

Jennifpher

There may be more - I've definitely been called other things... but this is it for now.

I'm going to go rest my weary lungs and work really hard on getting better before my friend catches her flight in SFO in the next couple of days.

more on the whole Easter whipping thing

After an enlightening conversation yesterday with both Czech and non-Czech but long-term Czech female residents I understand a little bit more about the whole Easter whipping thing.

First - it's not on Easter Sunday, it's on Easter Monday - and you can expect people to come to your home and whip you...

Second, they sing... combining number one and number two is a story I heard yesterday -a girl new to the country was staying at her boyfriend's family's home a while ago, and was sound asleep when her boyfriend's cousin came in to her room, pulled her blankets back, and started whipping her and singing her a little song. That's how she woke up. To a stranger beating her and singing a little ditty in a language she didn't yet know. And when he stopped he waited for his treat. Yes, after this sort of abuse you are to reward them with decorated eggs or chocolates or some such nonsense.

Third - the boys throw water, not the girls. Not only do you get beaten but if they like you, then expect to get drenched too.

Fourth - as a woman you start preparing for this in advance. There was talk last night of giant egg decorating parties, how many eggs to give to each man, the best way to decorate, etc... I don't know why but it sounded as though there was some social stigma attached to not having a ton of eggs for every potential beater.

There isn't an age limit - children and grandmothers alike.

Finally - it ends at noon. Supposedly. There aren't any real repercussions for whipping a girl after that time, but supposedly it ends at noon. We'll be unavailable to the good citizens of the Czech Republic until after that time.

sunglasses at night... 80's moments in a modern world

Coral has just returned from FebioFest - she and her friends watched The Invention of Lying and checked out the bands and booths too. Now she is watching Corey Hart's music video for Sunglasses at Night. (You should now open another tab and paste this link... unfortunately embedding has been disabled...

Sunglasses at Night video

And of course this song reminded me, again, of last night's events. There was a man, maybe 15, 20 years older than me, straight out of th 80s - Miami Vice style. Scuttling around, underground, at night, with his sunglasses on, linen jacket, open button down shirt and loafers - that, combined with the red carpet we walked, the MTV crew everywhere, the colors, the dancing, the odd little eye candy effects, the numerous video game consoles, the intermittent flashbulbs of the professional photographers and their strobe light effect - it all combined to make me feel like I was in an 80s music video... the afterparty only reinforced the 80s rock star lifestyle with the multitude of DJs, the velvet covered couches, the heavy silk curtains, a champagne room, the hidden little nooks and crannies - the opulence and the hours and the dance and the drive... a memorable night, possibly for being more like someone else's memory... a la Less than Zero or something.

objectionable behavior

Let me preface this post with three very relevant bits of information:

1. Drug laws here are really lax.

2. Dogs are loved and allowed in grocery stores, restaurants, trams - just about everywhere.

3. You can smoke just about everywhere in this country.

Last night I was a FebioFest - primarily a film festival it also has a large music festival which takes place in an underground parking garage. I was with some friends, their friends and their friends' friends... etc.

This Czech guy stopped by with his dog, took a seat on a bench nearby, pulled out his papers, tobacco, a filter and some pot and struck up a conversation with an acquaintance of mine - some one whom he knew. His dog was a great big lab and quite friendly and greeting everyone in doggy waddling distance with a big brush-up, a fierce tail wag and a loud bark.

A few moments after this guy joins us security approaches him and he stands up to greet them - he's still rolling his joint and as he stands up to talk with the security guard he literally sticks drugs in the guy's face. They have a bit of a discussion which I couldn't follow - but the jist of it was the guy was going to have to leave.

Not because of the pot but because the dog wasn't allowed - I think the barking in an enclosed concert area was distracting or something. And the guy was told he'd have to go up another level to smoke as the concert level was strictly no-smoking.

This was all translated for me by the person he'd been talking to - I asked what was going on when I saw my acquaintance shaking his head. We're both expats, different countries, but we were both a little incredulous about what was being viewed as objectionable behavior.

british men...it's a girly gripe

I grew up with lovely British movie icons... I've loved black and white movies since I was a kid, raced through Hitchcock's stuff so quickly I know my Mom was concerned it would affect my mental development, and then the oh so charming Hugh Grant (early years) came through, followed by Rupert Everett (that also would fall under a gay man gripe) and more recently Colin Firth, Clive Owen and Daniel Craig - gosh there are so many more, just pick a name... but the idea I'm getting at is the concept of British men being oh so popular and honorable and do the right thing eventually, with eventually being soon enough so they haven't truly done anything unforgivable, and they're charming and intelligent and well mannered and quite possibly a little emotionally repressed with a more subtle sense of humor (or humour, I suppose, if you're British).

Maybe they are. Maybe all the ones who are have stayed in Britain.

The ones here - every single British guy I've met in the past, wow, 18 months, has moved here following a girl. (I know that doesn't negate any of the potentially positive and/or endearing attributes mentioned above.) Actually, almost every male expat I've met here came or stuck around, if they came for school, for a girl. How lovely, how romantic, how devoted, how... I think I'm gonna puke and not just cause I'm sick right now. It would be, but without fail, every British guy I've met here either is cheating or is trying to cheat or has tried to cheat or is talking about cheating on their significant other. Without fail. And for that, they suck. Except one and he was here for a short term work assignment and is already happily back home in England.

That may be a rather infantile summary, but it's also succinct. My illusions have been shattered. Maybe what I'm used, being American men, is just a certain level of underhanded sneakiness about issues like this - maybe it's a different approach. Maybe men all over the world think nothing of having their wives at home and multiple mistresses - maybe women all over the world find nothing wrong in being the mistress(there is definitely a high level of compliance with the women here - I'm astounded by how many women knowingly enter in to relationships with married men... actually that's another gripe too). Maybe I'm being shown a cultural norm or something... Maybe all of this is true.

And if it is - I have an answer for that...

It may all be true, but it's not my truth. I don't have to live my life according to what other people have determined to be right for themselves. I am not interested in being someone's milenka. (I had to look that up actually, it sounded so much like Lenka, a common name, that I thought it might be another diminutive or something... I was wrong, sort of.) And I don't want to be in a relationship where one of the parties is searching for another lover.

where would the relationship be?

It's funny how you meet someone and you have a connection - or not. Here I make connections with people that I may not have made had I met them back home - whether that's good or bad I can't say, it just that in my comfort zone I'm less likely to step out.

I was talking with someone recently about getting in to relationships - the opinion was thrown about that many people they enter into relationships with people that they wouldn't be in if they were back home. I'm sure there can be any number of reasons but the human desire for connection is probably a pretty strong one. It creates difficulties that require more time than I'm giving it right now.... right now I was just thinking about how hard it must be, to be in a relationship as an expat, with another expat from a 3rd country... knowing it works while you're both on equal footing, equally unsure footing, but not sure it would work in either party's homeland. Where do you go? Are you doomed to live a life of happiness outside of your homelands? What kind of relationship is that if empowering one party by moving to their native area would jeopardize the connection? And I am actually really curious as to how many cross-cultural foreign established relationships work when it is relocated to one party's native country. (It's different than getting involved with a local... not what I'm talking about here.) I think I might research it later but if anyone has any statistics or sources please do share.

for future travelers... a word of advice

In honor of my friend Becky (woo hoo you!) who is coming to visit and with insight gained from having hosted numerous couchsurfers (yea couchsurfing.org) over the past year I'm putting together a list of things you should bring, know, or do in advance of your trip to Prague. This may evolve, we'll see.

• As a native Californian accustomed to a non-smoking environment, even though I have smoking friends (smokin hot friends!) I was completely unprepared for the prevalence of cigarette smoke. Your hair, clothes, and skin will stink. It's gross but I can't change it. Hopefully this summer there will be some government mandated changes taking place but they're limited and few and not likely to be too effective.
• Building on the smoking theme, the air here is not what you Californios are accustomed to - at least not you north bay beautiful people. And the pollen is different. In order to protect yourself from dry irritable eyes and allergies bring some eye drops. And allergy pills - even if you don't have dry or irritable eyes or allergies. I'm serious about this. You'll be grateful. Also - pack a bottle of tylenol or advil or something. Yes, there is a version sold here, Brufen, in the lekarnas (not in a drugstore, there isn't anything drug related in the drug store) but the lekarnas aren't usually open in the evening or on Sunday or bank holidays - and those are the only time you'll need something.
• Shoes. Bring 2 pairs for walking - one pair may get wet. And lots of very comfortable socks - but hopefully not socks with sandals - you'll see when you get here. You're going to walk a lot. Your feet will hurt. If they don't hurt then you're not doing the tourist thing right.
• Sunscreen. It's expensive here and hit and miss with the brands. Bring what you like... when you're outside walking you're outside in the sun (hopefully).
• Converters - if you will want to charge your phone, ipod, computer, etc in an airport or during a possible out of the US extended layover then you will need one. If you are not staying with us you will need more than one. If you have no desire to lug that sort of electronic equipment around in your limited carry-on space, and are staying with us, well, we probably have the right kind of converter for you. There is one potential issue - and please go talk to Bernie at the Luggage Shop - heating appliances... hairdryer, hot irons, curling irons, etc. Most converters don't work well with those types of appliances. And quite often the converter is quite expensive. My suggestion - find out his thoughts and let me know... get a price quote. I'll let you know if I have what you need - and if it may be cheaper to just buy one here than it would be to buy the darn converter.
• Phones - take yours in to a local shop and get it unlocked. Then you can use our extra phone number, if I can still find it, or we can get you your own pre-paid card while you're here. Service is super cheap. I spend about 500kc per month on my phone... Coral maybe 200kc - the exchange is about 18.5kc to the dollar right now.
• Rain - yes, it quite likely will rain if you're coming at any time when it's not winter. Most often it is a rather warm rain. We have umbrellas. And sweatshirts. Don't worry too much about cold weather - we have a few things to lend and you can always get a super cool awesome jacket if you decide it's not enough. With that in mind, bring a light weight jacket at least and maybe a sweatshirt. Unless it's the summer and then you won't need anything warm really, it's rather humid here.
• Money - the best way to get cash is with your bank card. Bring some with you for the exchange so you have some right away, but then use your card for the rest. When you go to an exchange desk don't hand them the money first - ask how much they'll give you for it. The exchange rate and their fees should be posted clearly. Quite often there are two tiers based upon how much you're exchanging. Unless their calculation is at the higher tier and totally fair (NO FEES) tell them no start to put it back in you wallet and walk away. They'll usually recalculate it at a better rate. If they don't, well walk 100 meters and you'll find one that does. EVEN with the best rate the exchanges offer you'll usually get a better rate and lower fees by making a withdrawal from you bank.
• My house - well, I just flooded it and am hoping not to have too many repairs to deal with. We live near a metro station and a number of tram lines. You can walk to the city center in less than 10 minutes and my favorite church/square in less than 5. We live on the 3rd floor (4th floor if you're American) and each floor beneath has (yes, water damage, but, also) really high ceilings. We don't have an elevator. Everything that you bring with you will need to be carried up the stairs. It bites. While you are here I will ask that you help us carry groceries. I don't cook much, you're welcome to, but when I do cook it's nice to have carried up enough food to feed everyone. You will be sleeping in the living room on a futon. We have blankets and sleeping bags and a pillow or two. You can sleep as long or as late as you need to so long as you have keys. Without keys you're locked in the building. We don't have a tub, we have a shower... a small shower. It's maybe the size of your hall closet - no, quite honestly your hall closet is bigger. You may want to pack a towel. Rephrase - bring a towel... because... well, if you want to survive out here you've got to know where your towel is.
• Laundry - We don't have a dryer,we have a washer. It's a demon machine. It shreds clothes, makes new things look old and pilly, turns whites gray, and spewed water 6 inches deep across my kitchen. I hate it but I use it anyway. You are welcome to use it too, however I think someone should go downstairs to the witch shop and get some powder or something to release it from the voodoo curse. Or not. *
• Service in shops and restaurants - don't expect a smile. People tip based upon their satisfaction... while tipping is common here, it's not nearly as high as in the US. Most people I know think ten percent is fine, - some thing it's too high and just round up to whatever is convenient based upon the check and level and quality of the service and food.
• Batteries - more expensive here. If you might need some for your camera stock up. Anything you might need for your camera you should stock up on as all electronic related items are much, much more expensive here.
• Fashion - unless it's a high priority don't worry about it. Mullets and frosted boy band hair are big, as are tights with daisy dukes, nylons worn as leggings, thigh high stillettos, animal prints and bold color... and then some people wear the same shirt and pants 5 days in a row while others are always impeccably dressed. You may not fit in, but you won't stand out... You will get some awesome photos!
• Have a little bit of an idea what you want to see/do. Having a few things that appeal to you helps me to identify what else might be of interest. Be honest about what catches your attention - but also keep in mind that I'm not going to try to offer you something knowing it will be lame (some times things that are supposed to be cool just end up being lame, it's not intentional and I'm just as disappointed as you are). If you have every day planned out that's cool too, but it's hard when someone shows up (couchsurfers, this is directed at you) and hasn't taken the time to read up on the city/surroundings, and expects a handtailored guided tour from a stranger who hasn't an inkling as to where their interests lie. I am many things but your psychic tour guide is not one of them.
• Bring a razor. For some reason they're really expensive here. I hate it. A 4 pack of Gillette blades is around $20 USD.

There's more but I'm tired. I'll get back to this later. Hope it helps a few of you :)

* I was updating this... and my darn washer started leaking again!!! It wasn't the filter and it wasn't my fault, but there is water on the floor - just a little puddle and I've cleaned it - but this is ridiculous! I will continue this update another day.... to frustrated with inanimate objects at the moment.