All about my monkey

She's been really focusing on her writing lately (believe it or not, this blog was a lame attempt to help further her regular writing routine... look at when she posted last!) and has earned a bit of praise in the writing groups in which she participates. Yesterday she received a notice that someone would like to use one of her poems in their journal - they selected one she's not particularly fond of, but the theme, HOPE, ties in to a humanitarian issue the journal supports... this means that come Christmas time little Miss Kidlet will be a published poet.

Today she left for Rome - most of last week she had a stomach virus - I managed to come down with it yesterday, right when I thought I'd somehow avoided it... that means, unfortunately, that shel got herself to the airport. I'd arranged an alternate companion, but she didn't want one... she didn't want a taxi, either, but preferred to take the metro alone and meet her friends at the Terminal. And she did just that... it's a little odd the leaps and bounds she's covered in her personal growth in the last few months - jaunty new haircut, makeup, new sense of style (she hit up Zara while out shopping yesterday and came home with quite a few cute new things) and the sky-rocketing self-confidence all while maintaining a fairly level head and a focus on school work.

She'll be back in the US for a few months this summer - looking at the end of June until mid-August... something like that.

And that's the Kid's update for today.

All About Steve

A few years back I went through an in-house rehabilitation program (not drugs, you bozo, if you don't know what for, read a few older posts). While there I met some amazing people - everyone had different struggles they were trying to address, different difficult aspects they needed to be able to deal with in order to live their lives. I spent maybe a month there, a little less probably, and grew to love them like my family.

I just got some news about a guy I hold a lot of affection for. Steve is a cowboy, a true rodeo cowboy, and a sweet, sweet guy. I had the littlest bit of a crush on him as he has such a kind heart and quick laugh - but I couldn't reconcile liking a cowboy, tried it once and we were too different, and so let it go. (Even though I hate labels I still use them, in the worst way.) He's spent years plagued with health issues and had to leave regularly for dialysis and other medical treatments only available in the hospital. We had both arrived at the place in wheelchairs... that should give you an idea as to where we were each at.

I still adore him - he still holds a very special space in my heart, as does everyone else I shared that period with. A friend, a wonderful woman full of life and vitality whom I really miss, just sent me an email. Two weeks ago Steven found out he has cancer - actually he's had cancer, but now it's in his kidneys. Almost immediately my friend, and another awesome woman who shared this time with us, hopped on a plane and spent a week with Steven at his ranch. Tomorrow Steve will have his kidney, prostate, bladder and lymph nodes removed - this is in addition to what was already taken before. This obviously isn't good news. I don't know much about what can be done after such a major removal.

I'd like to ask that you send out good thoughts, some hope and love to my friend Steve. He can really use it.

new developments

Apparently my school is adding another program. It's a bit exciting and yet a little intimidating, too. I'm designing a course for both the bachelors and the graduate level classes. The part I'm looking forward to is having more mature students in the school - it's targeted at working professionals, business-world types wanting to increase their understanding of law in a mixed Czech/English environment... at least that's how I understand it as of yesterday, but nothing is definite yet, so things may evolve.

I'm trying to get the school to provide me with one-on-one Czech classes. They're giving the handy-man/driver guy personal English classes and he doesn't have to speak with anyone other than the Czech staff, so hopefully I can squeeze in some Czech courses as I do deal with a number of native Czech speakers - and if these classes stay Czech/English, I'll be dealing with even more. Right now I can only order beer, green or black tea, some juices, say something is too big/small, answer yes/no, ask "where is ...", say how many (but without the correct conjugation), express disgust/frustration, and identify the base foods in a dish on a menu - meats, fruits, vegetables - basically I suck. And, yes, I should acknowledge that just because I can do that, it doesn't mean I actually do do it when the appropriate time comes... I have zero speaking confidence, and hanging with my Czech friends doesn't help me to increase that - it makes it worse. I end up either using English or they do it for me.

Coral keeps walking in to walls and doors after having been hit in the head, again, but other than that she's fine.

I don't think there's anything else new. WAIT - Coral has won some poetry contests through some on-line writing communities she's joined. I am going to leave you with that - she doesn't like me reading her stuff, only the bits she chooses to share, so I doubt she'll tell you anything more unless you ask her directly. Now, I really am going to leave you. Hezky den!

a little depleted today

I don't know if it's been the massive amounts of misinformation and resulting frustration I've been experiencing at school, if it's the joys of trying to parent a teen who has a very separate life from my own (not in connection, it's just that physically we're going in different directions) - and who forgets the basic steps necessary to protect her beautiful brain, or knowing that I have to go face the foreign police in another week and they're going to want money, far more money than what I have... I don't know what it is, but it's getting to me right now.

This is one of those times when I wish someone else were a part of it. Sometimes I would appreciate knowing that I can step back because I'm upset, and someone else will calmly explain why what is what and how not to let it happen again - cause I don't always get the calm conversation part right. Sometimes it would be nice to have someone who could let me talk - and then who I could listen to instead of having my own stuff in my head. Sometimes it'd be nice to have someone else think about dinner... or suggest a more interesting alternative. Sometimes it'd be nice to not have to feel 100% it all the time - provider, caretaker, mothering friend. And sometimes I think Coral would appreciate having a counterbalance, someone else to confide in, someone with a different perspective than my own - an alternate view... we mesh so often in our perspectives that when we don't it's rather startling. She would maybe benefit from someone who has a more responsible forward-thinking line of thought than my own. I tend to focus on here and now and count on the rest of it all working out. It has so far, and if I keep doing what I'm doing I don't see any reason why things won't just keep working out... but with a bit more planning and down-to-earthedness maybe it would be smoother. Of course if I were that responsible forward thinking person I'd be my own counter-balance and lose a bit of what I think makes me the me that I am, the me that I like... and the one who follows through on asinine ideas like moving to the other side of the world with a teenager and without a job, a friend, or a grasp of the language - yet makes it work, and works it well.

Now, having read that, I think if I just go to bed I'll get over the little bitty baby blues. (OH GOD - not as in having a baby or just had a baby blues, as in itsty bitsty teeny tiny... don't misread anything please)

when throttling won't fix it

Coral called me in the middle of a lesson today... she has a knack for that. This time she had something to say but was really beating around the bush - when it finally came out she had called to ask if she could skip out on babysitting as she'd gotten hit in the head at school - by 2 people at once... during PE. This is a child who is not supposed to be engaging in any potentially physical sports as she cannot get hit in the head again.

I couldn't finish the conversation at that time, so I told her to go home and got off the phone. I called her once I was done and here's what happened...

Coral decided that even though she is dealing with ongoing headaches and dizziness she should be running around playing handball, jumping, crashing and bouncing off of people. She managed to get elbowed in the head again by two people at once!

We've covered all the potential devastating possibilities of another head injury, she's still dealing with the aftermath of a fall earlier this year in which she didn't even strike her head, and she has a football (soccer) helmet she knows she must wear even if it's for a little easy kick-around. Despite all this, my helmetless, nearly hairless daughter jumped in to a game and got clobbered.

I wanted to throttle her. Seriously. But I suppose that would be counterproductive now, wouldn't it?

a new sight - the Serbian situation

Usually my walk to school consists of navigating busloads of Italian high school students on a class trip and dog poop. I don't particularly enjoy either one. Today I was making my way down the street when I saw something rather unusual. A police car had stopped in the middle of the intersection and the officers were exiting the car and crossing the street. Two officers and a dark haired woman approached a big studded wooden door and knocked. A man answered and a conversation took place - it's about this point that I drew even and actually passed by... I'd been watching for a few moments as I walked towards them.

Nothing so far unusual, right? Here's the thing - the door the police were knocking on was the Serbian Embassy. I was always under the impression that local government was supposed to stay far far away from any embassy related business... Apparently, the police make house calls instead.

As a definite side note - I've decided that of all the nationalities I've met so far I really like Serbian guys. They have a bit of the Eastern Europe/Balkan guy thing but aren't too caught up in the macho crap - still gentlemanly a bit more relaxed and "real" than their neighbors - the guys I've met have been able to make some pretty honest assessments about the state of their nation, the perception of their people, the difficulties they face working through a corrupt society and how they fit in to all that - and do it with a combination of warm, intellect and friendliness that is rare... I don't know, maybe you can expand this to Macedonian and possibly Slovenian - although technically not Balkan... and I don't have enough male friends from the surrounding Balkans states to offer an opinion on their men so I'll refrain from commenting any further. Albanian women are really friendly and are also quite warm and engaging - both Macedonian and Montenegrin are women as well. The people I've met from the region are so friendly and welcoming that if I decide to move on, yet remain in Europe, it's a region I'd give a second look to.

Her hair!

It's gone. She looks like a an edgy funky super cool woman and not a really cool girl. It's got me feeling a little bit of discomfort. Well, her hair combined with her new make-up skills and penchant for wearing dresses and skirts. My daughter has fully embraced her femininity. I still haven't done that.