my new best worst date

I went on a date a little less than two weeks ago. On the date my date met someone, someone who was listening in on our conversation and then sat down at our table. They are now living together.

I am still waiting for my dating karma to change.

Lend me your fairy tale... or rather DON'T!

Every country I go to I try to buy children's fairy tales from that region. I have a hard time in the past but have usually been successful. Never before have I experienced what I did today...

I'm in Dubai for a short while. I had a touristy evening last night and have a few days consumed with school stuff. Today, however, I went to the mall adjoining my hotel and went on a book hunt. I succeeded in finding a solid little English language bookstore. Not super shocking since every speaks English here and I'm both in an expat community and in a hotel complex, but nevertheless I was quite pleased with it.

I started my hunt for the kids books and found a huge selection and a ton of fairy tale options. After working my way through Hansel and Gretel type stuff I found the local fables... and I choked. Literally. These are not pretty kids stories, they're gruesome fables with mature themes and horrible endings. I read book after book after book.... then I found the Islamic story book for kids (the title was something like that, I don't mean there's only one) and I was horrified - and then I thought about the Old Testament's stories and put things in a bigger perspective.

The local fables deal with death, suicide attempts, murder, thieves, starvation, and punishment. They were not stories I would ever tell a child, ever. I could see the religious overtones coming through without necessarily being able to identify which religion it was - just old, style, heavy handed fear of God rammed down your throat type of stuff... not even fear of God, just FEAR of doing something WRONG.

I bought some really gentle books for my nephews and a little girl who doesn't yet appreciate that she has an extra aunt on the other side of the world and then picked out one of these books to share with my Mom. I'm not going to detail any of the stories in that one but I'll give you a summary of a story I thought was HORRIBLE!

In the jungle a rabbit wanted to get to the other side of the river. The lion offered him a ride but he was scared the lion would eat him so he went to his friends to ask advice. They said don't worry. The lion is trustworthy and he won't eat you. The rabbit was still scared so his friends said again, don't worry, we'll even join you. The rabbit took a ride from the lion and made it safely to the other side. When he climbed off and sighed with relief then all of his friends jumped on him and kicked him and hit him until he was dead and then they ate him.

Moral - don't always listen to your so called friends - you'll be better off when you think for yourself.

SERIOUSLY?!?!?

summertime summary

As you know, I spent three months on crutches. During that time my kid went back to the US for her annual summer visit. I was scheduled to follow her out a month later and then we'd return together.

Not what happened. I got off crutches, went to a wedding in southern Moravia, was mistaken for a prostitute by a rather dirty nearly toothless man in a car who followed me while I walked to the wedding brunch, went to graduation, went on a weekend trip to Slapy, and then, just before I was to fly to the US for a pleasant summer holiday, the kid called to let me know she'd decided to stay.

So I packed an extra suitcase and moved over some of her favorite things. While I was there it wasn't so easy. There was an underlying level of tension in the air and a lot of preoccupation which made it hard to connect to the people I love most. Another family member was in failing health and that caused a great level of totally understandable stress. After three weeks, the chance to see my siblings and nephews and some friends, and celebrating my grandmother's 90th birthday I returned.

And then I had to start adjusting to being alone, not waiting for the kid to come back, but truly being alone for the first time in my adult life. Temporarily I have someone staying in her room, but that's truly temporarily. The cat is still here.

And now, just over a month after my return. I've had a family member pass away. This isn't the moment in which I'll pay tribute to him, but rather the moment in which I'm updating the events in my life. It wasn't sudden, he was in ill health for a long period of time and deteriorated while I was visiting. It doesn't make the loss of his physical being any less. It hurts. And it hurts knowing that I"m not present to be part of my family at this moment. I'm not able to share in the joy and the love and memories that are free flowing as he gave all of us so much and so many. And I'm not there to sit with my mom or my daughter or my grandma. I'm here, alone, and crying.

The last few months have been a bit of a rollercoaster. The time spent on crutches brought an underlying injury to my arms and hands to the forefront and I'm dealing with ongoing pain and required medication. Getting blindsided by the kid, adjusting my life and mentality to the empty nest and now the loss of a loved one.  I've taken a bit of a break from a lot of things. This post doesn't necessarily mean I've returned, but in case it's a while longer before I write again... well, now you know what's going on.

I hope you are all happy and healthy. And maybe you can sit down and write or call someone you love but don't see very often. Make sure the people you love don't just know it on an inner level but are aware of it on an ongoing basis.

------------

I forgot - due to a rash of deaths this week from methanol poisoning the Czech government has suspended sales of all hard alcohol - anything over 20%. In respects to liquor this country is dry until the government can identify the source and destroy all of the poisonous alcohol. People have bought it in stores and restaurants across the country and so far 20 people have died and an unknown number have been blinded and otherwise seriously injured. There are a number of people here in an uproar about this "prohibition" and deprivation of alcohol. I think that's an ignorant and shortsighted stance. The government is going shop to shop, bar to bar and restaurant to restaurant to make sure that what is available isn't going to kill the consumer. Then it, the suspension of sales, will be over. Chill out.

Not truly notable news - sex, sexism and sports in reverse order

There were two articles released in the news today that are the kinds of articles that make you pause and ponder - what in the world is going on?!?

The first article covered an employer's guide to Euro Cup 2012. This is  basically an HR guide covering:

• how to handle an expected increase in absenteeism 
• what to do when you're given false medical certificates (something I have experiences with now)
• how to handle it when your employees come back from that extra, extra long lunch break drunk
• how to how to accomodate your employees' viewing hours by creating flexi-hours
• potential charges of sexism, nationalism or other discriminatory issues that may be raised by those uninterested in football (this I found a little sexist - I like football and watch more than some men I know... does this mean the flexi hours are only meant for male Euro Cup viewers?)
• what to do when your suit and tie guys engage in football hooliganism.
• how to handle the betting pool

The second was an article about a primary school principal who was just fired after his S&M porn star past came to light. What a doofus.

But that leads me to some statistics that may be more horrifying than interesting - ok, statistic singular. I don't think I'm jumping leaps and bounds if I say, generally speaking, that European women have a different attitude towards nudity, sex and sexuality than Americans (I'm going to lump UK in with America on this one). And this region of the world sex and sexuality are even less... taboo isn't the right word, more of a non-issue? I don't know what I'm looking for exactly but the approach is more relaxed. Anyway, here's that statistic - approximately (that's a strong start for a statistic, but...) approximately 20% of Czech women have appeared in pornographic material - or at least material that by more American standards would be viewed as pornographic. A number of ads that are printed here would violate American standards for commercial publication. But that's the percentage. I heard it from someone involved with research in the industry who is not prone to over-inflate his figures. That's pretty high.

And leads directly to the billboard we saw on the way to the airport this AM - picture this... dawn rising, a peaceful taxi drive on a highway surrounded by the lush green of a country-side landscape and a billboard appears.... it's a close-up on a business woman - no, not the woman, on her bust. She's wearing a suit - and... ok, wait, it's a suit jacket and a bra, a push-up bra. That's it. It's a giant billboard of some woman's boobs. And the tagline? Boost your business


Here's a link to an article I'd thought I'd linked to earlier but apparently hadn't. It doesn't showcase the billboard we saw today but it definitely will give you a taste for the more outlandish and overtly sexualized advertisements that are displayed here. 

Technically correct - not always the best choice

It's been a few months and I'm still dealing with the knee issue. Had my second appointment with the orthopedist today. Last week's was a treasure. He did a less than cursory (it is possible) interview and told me to take off my pants, walk around and then and lie down. I did. He started feeling around my knee and leg and then said he was going to give me a shot. I don't like needles and would prefer to avoid them unless absolutely necessary. So I asked what type of shot - I was already on medication and wanted to 1) make sure it wasn't duplicated, and 2) see if a pill could be substituted instead. He turned to me and said I didn't have to have it if I didn't want it, never mind. He was a bit snippy. I was uncomfortable and I still didn't know what he wanted to give me. I forgot that doctors here aren't used to as many questions. Then he told me not to walk, lose the brace, elevate my leg and keep ice on it. He sent me out to schedule another appointment.

Today was my follow up. He seemed in a slightly better mood. I got to keep my pants on. We were off to a good start. He felt around a bit and it hurt. He felt around some more and it hurt more. Then he told me that there's too much fluid  and he wants to test it. Here's the technically correct part that totally freaked me out - the way he said it. "I am going to puncture your knee."

Puncture in the same sentence as any body part will never sound good. You don't say 'I'm going to puncture my ears tomorrow', you say 'I'm going to pierce them.' You get blood drawn or you get a blood test you don't puncture your arteries. Dog bites leave puncture wounds, drug addicts have puncture marks, to test for meningitis our MS you get a lumbar puncture (yes, technically it refers to a region of the body but it's not such a body-part sounding word, lumbar, that is)... none of those are lovely sounding things. And it's not fun when you puncture your tire either.

Anyway, the use of the word puncture in relation to my knee freaked me out. But, it's going to happen - it just didn't happen today.

One more note - and actually, I really like this hospital, even though the staff often sends me to the wrong places and, unlike their advertisements, the nurses and intake people don't all speak English - I've gotten lost there a few times. With directions like "Follow the white line" it's totally understandable.

things to look forward to - or to skip

Pretty soon I will write a bit about...

DATING as a foreigner. FYI it can suck.

And that's not just my opinion. Details to follow when I'm in a less cynical mood :)

And, yes input is accepted. As are flowers and other romantic gestures.

(That input isn't to be your advice or views addressing my situation but rather it should be a sharing based upon your experiences dating as a foreigner.)

a little midnight anxiety

It's not keeping me up, I'm awake already, but my knee and potential surgery are kind of freaking me out right now. I'm starting to realize that I'll be here alone. And the hospitals here are clean but not friendly - 8 - 10 people per room, no dividing curtains, no sensitive caring nurses (nurses galore, just not sweet ones), I won't have any family around, I'm terrified of needles - and I have a very real and rather firmly entrenched fear of pain. Not just a dislike of pain, as is most common, but an actual fear of experiencing pain. After many years of a pain condition it's become ingrained in me - not knowing when it will stop increasing in intensity - being fearful that it won't; when, if ever, it will end; how to make it stop without screwing up my brain or the rest of my body... stuff like that. I'm realizing that this will be a very lonely and isolating experience. Right now I don't even know if I'll be having surgery in my "home" town or a few hours away - honestly, though, it won't matter when it comes to company. When I had major surgery in the US I was about an hour away from my house and the only person I saw was my husband. I was there for a week. I'll be in hospital for about a week here, too, but I'm no longer married so I can't count on that. And the hospital is in the outskirts of the city, in a rather isolated and difficult to reach location.  I honestly don't expect anyone will make it out there. The kid will already be back in the US so that's a no-go. Even if she weren't I wouldn't necessarily want her to come see me and stress out about stitches and tubes and stuff like that. Kids don't want to see their parents out of it. On the plus side, I will have competent care. I will be able to walk freely in a few months and I will be able to pay for it without having to worry about going in to debt. Maybe I'll get some new pajamas for the thing. You don't get much here, not even a real gown. When my friend broke his head and spent a week in the hospital he was in his underwear until I brought him some clothes - and the half dozen men in his room were either naked under the blankets or naked under the hospital gown - and let me tell you.... it's not just in the US that the gowns aren't made to fit. I believe that design flaw is global.