what the heck is the violence about???

There is a different kind of violence here, a different kind of crime, but this is more focused on violence.

The first time I was exposed to domestic violence was when our former neighbor hit his mother in the face (he was well over 6 feet tall), knocking her off her feet and in to the wall. She was shorter than me. Then I saw it in my old preschool - not nearly as extreme, but still shocking for me.

Twice now I've witnessed public domestic abuse. Once was a mother who at first I thought was consoling another adult, then realized it was a teenager, and thought that her physical intimacy was not a comforting presence but rather a threatening presence. It became abundantly clear when she started striking the sobbing girl in the face, slapping her repeatedly - quickly and hard. I was in a tram and we were stopped. It was a few moments due to the loading/unloading, and then traffic. The girl must have been hit 8 times, at least.

Today it was at a metro stop. A ways down the waiting area a young woman was sitting on the footrails crying and a man crouched down in front of her. I noticed him as it was a funny position, not one of intimacy which would be warranted in her situation. Again, I realized it was more threatening (I had my headphones on and couldn't hear a thing.) He was leaning in to her, his anger was clear, the tension in his face and his mannerisms, clenched jaw, pursed lips, veins and tendons bursting out all over the place... and then he headbutted her, slamming her head back into the marble pillar behind her.

The metro came and he walked away while she wiped her eyes. I thought he walked away, rather, but he just walked around the pillar and boarded the metro with her, but then got off without her.

Both of this instances I've found shocking and horrifying and felt so helpless... my heart hurts to watch these women take this sort of treatment... and more so that it's so casual. The people thought nothing of attacking the person besides them over whom they had more power. It was such a non-thought that they did it freely in public for everyone to see.

I just wrote about the gang rapes... a horrific example of societal failure, but this sort of violence and aggression should not be culturally condoned either. Who is it that teaches their children that you hit the people you care about? Who teaches their kids that you hurt those you trust you? Why would you want to teach your children to expect to either accept or dole out physical pain? Why not teach your kids how to speak, to listen, to love, to respect, how to be happy without causing harm. Why not try to teach your children how to live in a world that is better than what is surrounding you now. Without that hope, without the idea, there will not be change.