i've become accustomed to the way you sound

I recently realized I've been living here long enough and surrounded by enough non-native English speakers that heavily accented and speech filled with fillers has been sounding "normal". In conversation with people I've now known a few years every now and then I speak more rapidly or with more natural language (for me) than I do with my students or other newer people... and then I have to back-track a bit - and it's cause I've forgotten that English isn't their language. Anyone else would hear it automatically, but I've become accustomed to the voice, accent and intonation, pauses and substituted words - so much so that I don't hear it. And so I fall in to my more familiar pattern of speaking, my natural speed, language, shortcuts, etc. realize it, stop and start over.

On another note - you know when you're angry or upset or something and you have something to say but can't find the words - that's my daily life trying to speak Czech. Last night I was out and somebody took something that wasn't theirs. I was stuck trying to reclaim it and explain the situation. And failed. It wasn't that big a deal, truly minor, but really frustrating. And I got frustrated with myself for still being restricted in my ability to communicate. I couldn't find the words to say what needed to be said. A while later, on my way home, I was thinking about what had happened and discovered - I did know the words after all! They just weren't coming to me when I wanted them - and that happens to me in English sometimes, too. As frustrating as the experience was in the moment, ultimately it turned in to a bit of a personal triumph.