Thursday, June 4, 2009

a goodbye to the boys across the hall - and a moment of reflection

As I was waiting for Coral to return from the bank and my old landlord to arrive for the final walk-through I was standing in the open doorway to my empty flat, somewhat impatiently as he was running late and our taxi was due in 15 minutes. I had a few moments to reflect on what had taken place there during our initial 10 months in Prague. And then the door directly across the hall opened and a man stepped out.

You are already acquainted with this particular family - both here, shortly after our arrival and here, far more recently. They were kind enough to contribute to my decision to move when the time to evaluate the benefits and drawbacks of our Prague 10 residence arose.

There were two guys that lived there - the monstrosity was much taller than the guy who had walked through the door. There was a mother who made an appearance very now and then, and during our last major encounter, she had a young girl with her, video taping the experience. To be quite honest I'm unsure how many people lived there as occasionally there was an old guy who'd open the door and be the one literally throwing the monstrosity across the hall... perfectly aimed to hit first my buzzer and then the door. He'd had plenty of practice.

So, I was standing there, waiting, an empty and aromatically pleasing pristine flat visible behind me, and this guy gave me a half smile and turned to lock his door. We had never talked, but as we were leaving the place forever I decided to initiate a conversation. After confirming he spoke English it made things much smoother.

I said goodbye, he asked about the new tenants, there was a bit more small talk - and then he apologized. I looked at him and he said, "I'm sorry, for, for everything, you know. Everything that happened, I'm sorry." And then he left. And I appreciated the effort, late and minor, but all the same, the acknowledgment that what had happened had been wrong.

After I went inside I had a moment when I realized - he speaks English(yes, things sometimes hit me late)! And I thought about my verbal tirades surrounding the ongoing frustration with his family - we were the only 2 occupied flats in our wing for a while and I had no qualms about expressing my extreme disgust and distaste upon discovering another unwelcome experience at their hands (the two links are just a few of our experiences). I felt bad for a moment - what if they had heard and understood - my language was far from choice, my words left no doubt to the extent of my frustration and dislike - what if I had offended them???

And then I thought - seriously Jen?? Seriously? These people smeared shit on your walls and you're worried about offending them by saying 'shit'? I would have felt bad if I had ranted to that extent and volume (NOT muttering under my breath) IF there had been anyone else around, but honestly, the physical release also led to an emotional release - when I had gotten it out vocally I also got out the anger and feelings of helplessness and increasing tension they had been a source of - and as they had been so egregious in their behavior - I decided that was something I really didn't need to beat myself up over, at all.

And I moved on.

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