I need to talk with my US doctor. I say remind me cause my memory is shot - too many drugs (prescription, mind you) for far too long... and now my brain is only half intact. Compounded by pain and my brain is nothing more than a sieve.
It's started again... with my eye and then my head and the dizziness and the stumbling and the numbness and the pain. And I don't want to start all over with the poking and the prodding and the hours in an MRI only for more hours to be required and then more blood needed so more bleeding required... I hate all that. I hate needles and shots and solemn expressions while reviewing your charts... I hate testing and inconclusive results... I hate no results too. I hate seeing the doctor and don't really want to have to try to find a kind or caring or considerate Czech physician with expertise in these areas in addition to masterful English skills. And I can't afford to have my records translated, either.
Right now, more than ever before with this group of friends, I feel like an idiot. My concentration is gone, I can't remember my commitments and obligations and even forget that I wrote them down when I do actually write them down. I repeat myself frequently and am distracted by pain and the resulting exhaustion. This comes across as flaky, irresponsible, and disinterested. I'm not, at least not irresponsible in the manner conveyed and I'm not disinterested - and not really flaky unless it deals with my physical well-being.
I don't like feeling like my outer me, the physical me, is taking me away from who I am. And I do. Again.
1 comment:
thats really shtty, i hope ul be ok
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